Seventh Post

I am taking today as a sign from G-d. It is one of those days when you can practically smell freedom in the air. The sun is dripping little pools of sunlight onto the pavement, and the trees are turning bright painted green. I went to by furniture, and I suceeded.  I am now the proud owner of a futon and a coffee table. I never understood the need to nest before; I had assumed that it was just vanity, but it isn't. There is something really, I don't know, good, about owning a table. It is mine. It's the first thing that ever really was. I stood for a while today just resting with my hands pressed flat against the table's surface. Mine. You know? That's really good.

Sixth Post

It's nighttime. I stood outside the bar for almost ten minutes, trying to figure out what the Hell was going on before I realized how conspicuous I was. So I went inside. Which was dumb because I was going to the antique store. What the Hell was I supposed to do? I ordered a beer. Then I left, feeling like someone was watching me, cold shivers, ending in a sparking flash of hot running up and down my limbs. I dropped the beer bottle, unopened, on the ground in the alley. I tried to breathe, ease the tightness, calm down, but my ears were ringing, and I had to turn back, go home. I sat in the dark in my apartment with my back to the wall. I watched to door. Somewhere, out there, outside the safety of the darkness, my old life is tearing at the edges of my sanity. To-morrow. I'll buy furniture to-morrow.

Fifth Post

I saw somebody get arrested this afternoon. I don't really know what was up, but it was almost pathetic. The kid didn't seem dangerous at all. He just seemed confused. If I were getting arrested, I'd be fucking pissed. Your name goes in the records, and so you're pretty much fucked because people know where you are. Like that damn carnival. There was this fortune teller who kept staring at me like she knew who I was or something. I don't believe in that stuff, but I swear, she knew something. That's some scary shit.